Language Learning for Introverts: Your Guide to Speaking More Spanish
In this post: Discover the challenges of language learning for introverts and get tailored strategies for joining more Spanish conversations on your terms.
You’ve finally worked up the courage to attend the local language meetup at a bustling restaurant. As you push open the door, you take a deep breath and tell yourself, introvert or not, you’re going to speak up tonight.
You approach the crowded table where the conversation is already in swing. You do your best to pull up a chair and listen, waiting for a chance to speak.
But the more extroverted members of the meetup are already leaning into the conversation, interjecting, sharing stories, unfazed by all the mistakes they’re making. As they speak, the circle seems to be getting tighter, leaving you on the outside, awkwardly sipping your drink.
You have all the words ready - they’re right on the tip of your tongue. You’ve got so much to say.
But you never do muster the courage to speak.
You think of all the conversations where you’ve felt this way--even in English. Why should Spanish be any different?
After a while, you’re forgotten, looking in from the outside and holding an empty glass. Now is the part where you excuse yourself to the bathroom and never return.
As you leave, the door closes on the conversation that’s continuing without you.
How are you ever going to get a chance to actually speak in Spanish?
It can make you just want to go and hide under a blanket with a book and avoid conversations altogether.
How do I know you feel that way?
Because I’m an introverted language learner, too, along with 40% of Americans, I’m the kind of person who would love never to make an embarrassing mistake while speaking. Ever.
I want to tell you that you’re not alone. In fact, I know exactly how it feels when you have a ‘silent library’ of untold stories in your head that you can’t quite express to the world.
And I also want to tell you it’s ok to feel unhappy and uncomfortable if you’ve ever had one of those moments where you’re “outside” the conversation.
After many years of helping hundreds of people with my courses and programs, I’ve learned a few valuable lessons on how we introverts can thrive as language learners.
The truth is that the advice to ‘just speak up” won’t work for you.
As an introvert, you need actionable and out-of-the-box strategies to help you create situations where you can feel comfortable communicating on your terms in Spanish. And that’s what you’ll come away with today.
While reading this post, consider these questions:
Have you ever felt like you might be a more introverted person or learner?
Even though you enjoy talking to people and interacting, do you feel the need to ‘wind down’ afterward?
Do you do better speaking and participating in 1:1 discussions or small groups? Or are you at ease at larger gatherings?
First, change the story you tell yourself about being introverted.
If you’re introverted, you’re probably (painfully) aware of how it affects your language learning.
After all, there is no getting around the fact that to become conversational in Spanish, you have to practice in conversations.
That might feel daunting for you, especially if you’ve had one of those “frozen” or panicked moments where you just can’t join in the conversation. So it’s worth hitting pause for a bit before you try to speak up.
Take a few minutes and examine some of your assumptions about learning Spanish.
Remember, introverts can and do learn languages all the time.
Introverted language learners have genuine strengths they can tap into, such as being highly focused and active thinkers. They also have unique perspectives to contribute and can move conversations in new directions.
Introverts excel in listening and comprehension--two critical skills for mastering a language.
That’s because they spend a lot of time observing interactions and conversations, which, in turn, helps them notice nuances in language and culture that others might overlook.
If you have that keen attention to detail that many introverts possess, you can use it to help you reach a deeper understanding and more authentic use of the language.
Also, introverts prefer deep, one-on-one conversations, which often help them build stronger, more meaningful connections with native speakers.
Don’t fall into the app trap.
As an introvert, language learning Apps can make you feel like you’re showing up to practice every day--and even sometimes give you the feeling that you’re practicing speaking.
But one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned about speaking Spanish as an adult is that language apps are not your friend.
It turns out apps can’t help you much with your most significant challenge: learning to participate in conversations in Spanish with real people.
Set milestones on your terms. Then, live up to them.
So, you don’t want to be the center of attention at your language meetup? Own that. Then, promise yourself to strike up a 1:1 conversation with at least one person.
Maybe you don’t feel comfortable being the first to answer a question or kick off a conversation in your Spanish class. But you can come to each class or session with one observation and one question so you’re ready to contribute each time.
Think of small and attainable milestones and work toward them in a way that works for you.
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Want to find your voice? Make conversations more comfortable.
Make peace with the fact that you’re not comfortable speaking in some situations. Then, become an expert in finding situations where you can thrive.
Here are some suggestions that work well for the more introverted among us.
Make opportunities for one-on-one conversations.
Introverts often prefer deep, meaningful one-on-one interactions, which can be great for practicing Spanish in a more controlled and less overwhelming setting.
In my case, I’ve learned to tell my husband that I don’t do well speaking up at large family gatherings because joining boisterous group discussions is not easy for me.
But I know if I spend time in my mother-in-law’s home, I’ll very comfortably and naturally join my sister-in-law for a great chat.
In your case, there may be a friend, family member, or language exchange partner you’d love to speak with.
The point is to see where you feel comfortable and start conversations there. As your confidence improves, you can spread out.
Join Small Discussion Groups
Are you ready to take on group conversations? Maybe you’d like to try a class or start to feel more comfortable at family or community events.
When you look for a class or meetup, be sure to being by seeking out smaller, more intimate groups that will feel less intimidating and where you’re more likely to speak up.
In my book club, I have seen firsthand how the small group setting allows quieter learners to thrive and become talkative.
Be sure to set yourself up for success and find a conversation group that works for you.
Seek out spaces where your learning and communication style is valued (not just accepted).
Susan Cain, author, and introvert advocate, has written extensively about the bias she sees against introverts in educational settings.
As an introvert, why not seek out spaces where your ability to reflect, focus, and bring new depths and insights to conversations is valued, understood, and actively encouraged?
Find the right conversation groups and the right Spanish teacher for you. Teachers or conversation leaders who know how to work with introverted learners will make time for reflection first and create space for you in the conversation.
By the way, an introverted teacher may also be more aware of others and able to watch for signs that quieter learners have something to say--but just need a pause in the conversation or a gentle invitation to join in.
Leverage your interests and watch your conversation skills take off.
Have you ever met someone who seems quiet--until you get them talking about something they’re passionate about?
I am often amazed in my book discussions how people who seem introverted can suddenly become talkative when they have something to say about a great novel.
And that’s also true for me--when I’m interested in a topic, the words flow better--in Spanish or English.
In impromptu conversations, finding shared centers of interest can be as simple as asking if your conversation partner has seen any great Spanish series lately. Or if they attended the concert last Saturday.
Consider joining an interest-based group.
If tapping into your interests can help you find your voice and give you an instant confidence boost in conversations, imagine what it’s like when everyone around you is on the same page.
You may feel more connected and more comfortable in a group where you already have something in common.
The relationships you build around common interests will feel more profound. For the more introverted among us, that can make all the difference in your ability to join the conversation.
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Learn to improve your communication skills even when you’re not speaking:
As an introvert, finding situations where you feel comfortable joining in is your top priority.
But the reality is that you may not be comfortable practicing speaking as much as your extroverted language-learning buddies.
I still remember how it felt to join an immersion program in Barcelona. Talk about exhausted!
Of course, I made time to attend classes and speak with locals.
But I also needed a break from all that socializing and all those intense conversation sessions to recharge my batteries. So I used my downtime wisely--writing in my journal in Spanish, reading, and listening to music in Spanish.
If your energy for conversations is limited, you’ll want to be very intentional about engaging in extra activities that can help you recharge your batteries while you immerse yourself in Spanish.
The good news is that there is an entire world of introvert-friendly Spanish learning activities to enjoy!
Here are a few of my favorites:
Dive into Spanish books.
Here’s something I discovered when I first started reading books in Spanish that will probably surprise you. You can get lost in that fantastic story--and find that you can actually speak better afterward. Imagine my surprise when that first happened to me.
Reading is a solitary activity that will tap into your introverted superpowers while significantly boosting your understanding and vocabulary.
And, of course, reading great books can give you something to talk about.
And don’t forget to explore Spanish literature in particular.
Fiction and literature can be beneficial for the more introverted among us.
That’s because novels and stories tap into our introspective sides, spark our empathy and creativity, and encourage personal and reflective learning as we ‘meet’ characters we can relate to.
As an introvert, connecting to the language through literature can help you find meaning and keep you motivated to keep learning Spanish. You’ll alsolearn to understand the culture more intuitively and intimately, which will help you later in conversations.
Practice Writing in Spanish:
Most people don’t realize it, but writing regularly in Spanish is a surprising way to boost your fluency.
Try keeping a journal on your own. Or try your hand at responding to writing prompts and reflective questions.
Both of these practices build your fluency while you recharge your batteries. Keep up your writing habit, and you’ll have more energy for your next conversation--and an easier time finding your words in Spanish.
And on that note, try this winning combination for introverts who want to have great Spanish conversations.
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Write…then Speak
As an introvert, a great way to find more confidence--and your words--is to write down your thoughts in Spanish before you join a conversation, almost like a dress rehearsal.
Anyone--not just introverts--can benefit from thinking before you speak. Take time to reflect; I promise your conversations will be more profound, meaningful, and fluent.
And if you’re an introvert, writing first can reduce the pressure of speaking in front of others by helping you prepare mentally for the conversation--making it more predictable.
For example, I use reflective questions in my Elévate Spanish Book Immersion Program and have seen it help introverted learners speak up and feel more confident in conversations.
Writing and reflecting before we speak reminds the entire group that this is a space where going deep and thinking things through before we speak is valued. It also fosters fascinating conversations.
Takeaways:
Remember, introverts can and do learn languages all the time.
But remember that it’s important to honor your conversation and language learning strengths, such as your ability to focus and stay with problems and questions and your capacity to tap into your emotions, empathy, and interests.
Find ways to supplement your practice while also “recharging your batteries,” like reading and writing when you’ve had your conversation quota for the day.
And don’t forget to find conversations that work for you on topics you’re passionate about and with people who get you. Search for spaces where people value conversations that go beyond the superficial. They do exist.
You may be surprised to find you don’t feel ‘introverted’ at all when your emotions and interests are engaged, and you’re in a conversation that suits your needs. Over time, the experience of feeling confident and letting your words flow will eventually spill over into other, more challenging situations.
As an introvert, learning to feel more comfortable speaking up and more motivated to share your thoughts in Spanish is a bit of a process. But it’s worth it--to you and others.
You may not realize it, but you’ll probably cause a quiet but profound shift in the conversation once the words start flowing.